Brushing Teeth
- Jan 22, 2020
- 4 min read
So, being an empath does suck sometimes, we care so much for others that we almost forget how to care for our own well being. Everyone else's priorities are almost higher than our own many of us think.
Not that being an empath is entirely a BAD thing, but being one myself, I tend to exhaust myself being the person many come to for advice, vent to or just need a listening ear. I am quite damn proud for having such an open heart and mind for anyone that wishes to share their world with me. But at the same time, when does it become too much that we become blind for our own well being?
The other week I met up with one of my brides-man, and he had brought along a friend as they were going to see a movie, so to wait for the show time and to catch up, we went for cocktails.
During this time, my brides-man and I are catching up, but his friend was being shy, naturally I engage conversation with her. We began talking and she started opening up to me as I could tell something was one her mind. As we continued our conversations over Bellinis, she opened up more and started describing about a friend of hers that (IMO) was very much using her, yo-yoing her back and forth for their own gain and not showing gratitude for it. This girl clearly cared a lot for them, but it irks me when people are being taken advantage of, coming from experience. She started to get passionate while describing more about this person's habits and how she was not sure to keep trying to help them or not.
I had to interject at that point and simply ask her; “Honey, who brushes your teeth at the end of the day?”
She was a little off guard by a simple yet important question. She blinked with a blank stare and said, “..well, me obviously.”
I began to explain to her as to my reasoning of this weird yet particular question. “Yes, as empaths we want to care for everyone, we have the “side of the road puppy” helper mentality deep in us. We don't want anyone suffering, even if it means putting us through it ourselves, however, what is important, is to understand that NO ONE else in this world is going to brush your teeth, which is a very important yet basic habit we must do as a basic form of self-care.”
Sometimes I do amaze myself on thinking on the spot what exactly to say for those seeking advice or guidance, it's been a weird skill of mine I am proud of though, emotional intelligence? Anyways, so asking her this simple question really made her wide-eyed and contemplate what she was really prioritizing.
This is a question I now ask my fellow empaths;
“Who brushes your teeth?”
With the exception you are elderly or disabled and need assistance in the physical aspect, we are all given the sole responsibility to brush our own teeth to ensure they don't fall out and rott.
It's important to take this simple question and apply it to scenarios that you may be struggling with in order to better understand where to stand on your own well being. It is encouraged much more now for self-love, and self-love comes with self-care, we need to be able to be strong for ourselves to help others.
I remember one of my captains giving another amazing example of how to overcome a struggling scenario as an emapth.
Think of being on an aircraft in mid-flight, in the event of an emergency the cabin loses pressurization and oxygen if running low. The oxygen masks release and if you pay attention to your safety announcements (WHICH YOU ALWAYS SHOULD!) they advise you to put YOUR mask on before assisting others, yes we can sacrifice our time to save another, but how can we if we cannot breath? It is upmost priority to put your own mask on first before helping anyone else with theirs.
Another great analogy from my captain to give perspective of how we do need to put ourselves first before helping others. I know I keep saying the word important, but I mean.... IT IS!
I do hope this simple question with a powerful statement behind it helps you in future cases where you are not sure if you are taking care of yourself or not, or if you are becoming blind by someone else who is taking advantage of your time and effort without taking your mental and physical health into consideration, this person may or may not realize it themselves sometimes though.
We empaths can most of the time hide our suffering well, but have this question in mind when you feel exhausted. Take a step back and try to do something nice for yourself, it doesn't matter what it is, self-love starts with self-care. Only then, once you are 110%, you are able to be unstoppable helping those around you. But don't forget, it's you who brushes your teeth.
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