Don't "regret" just Learn

Ever have those moments where you randomly think about something you regret? You kind of make a little sound or facial expression to dismiss the thought? Shake your head and try to distract yourself from it? A lot of people I know have asked me over and over again, “Don't you wish that never happened?”

I mean, yes some things I'm not proud of, nor wish to have pop in my mind at random, however I don't regret any of it. Why do I not regret my past? I ask you, why should you?

Every experience we are given, it either helps us continue on a path some way or another. Sure there can be something horrible that happens to us, but in the end, when dealt with as best we can see fit, we learn from it.

Regrets are a simple form of education, something that cannot be taught in books, videos or lectures. We do things out of habit, reaction or simply not knowing what the outcome may be, and this is something completely normal, especially when we learn from it. Regret is denying the experience to gain perspective of who you are as a person. Even the little silly moment's for example “I wish I didn't say that.” Having to accept that what's done is done, and you learned to be more aware of how you speak or who you are speaking to. One example I can give that helped me realize that regrets only can bring experience, possibly opportunity down the road, and enlightenment.

I had moved from my small town to Brantford Ontario with my ex-fiance. We dated for almost 4 years and in that time we got engaged. The relationship as I slowly learned was highly toxic, I was simply not happy and needed to change it. When I left him, I did not have much besides my clothes and dresser. Everything else I owned including a new digital camera I bought, I left with him.

A few months go by and I'm still in Brantford with no family, few friends and an unreliable job. I decided one night to do research and found the job experience of a lifetime. I got hired and was able to work overseas in underdeveloped countries where I grew so damn much for myself, personally and professionally. An experience I still mention to this day in reference of how I've developed so much as a person.

I have some of my friends again, asking me if I regretted dating my ex-fiance, which initial thought is yes, but have dismissed that initial reaction. He was not a good person for me, but if I didn't date him and stayed in my small town, I would never have found that job.

Moving away from home, living with someone not fit for me, helped me on the path to that life experience working overseas. One of the greatest chapters in my life, so why would I regret the path prior to that? I became a better person through my regrets and was brought onto a path I'll never trade for the world.

Again, regrets are annoying when we think of them, but using a negative term will not make them go away. Try to perceive them as a hard lesson, as they will never go away. Training your mind to see them in a different light to better yourself as a human being is something that can always be of value.