Fuck Cancer.

It is with my heavy heart that, my family has lost an important member of our family...

I didn't know whether to blog this or not, but I tend to write best on what is most important to me... So, here I write.

My aunt, the sister of my father, was a woman that had no filter, stubborn and headstrong, there was nothing stopping this woman from getting what she wanted in life.

It was 2 years ago, when almost everyone had left the Thanksgiving dinner, she admitted to us that she had breast cancer. My little cousin and I were facing each other when our faces went pale and still after hearing those words... we were in shock. However my aunt, was in high spirits..

To this day I wonder how she managed to hide the fear and pain she had endured during that time... Always smiling and cracking jokes like how I always remembered her.

The cancer was gone after treatments, but then the worst came... she was diagnosed with leukemia.

We all were sure that knowing her attitude through even the worst, she would pull through...

The last time I saw her... I had a presentation due at school that weekend, but my wonderful teammate told me to go home and see her, so I did. My little cousin picked me up and we passed the day together until we got to see my aunt.

When we walked in the door, it took everything I had to hold back my tears... she was sitting on her chair, smiling...even with what she had been through, her smile was still the same.

She looked at me and said,

"There is one last shot of Glenfiddich in the cabinet." This bottle of Glenfiddich she mentioned was the bottle of her favorite whiskey I had brought back to her from my trip to Scotland, we shared the first shot when I gave it to her.

She was very happy with this gift...

I held back my tears again and replied, "I'm only having it if you're having it with me."

I went to grab the bottle and find glasses... I almost dropped the glasses in the kitchen and began to tear up, trying to hold in rage, sadness and realization of what was going on..I pushed them back.... she didn't want tears...

I poured the whiskey and handed her the shot glass. We clinked our glasses and took the last shot.... that I admit, was really hard to swallow....

She then looked at her glass and said, "You know I was gonna say 'To your health.' But that just isn't the case isn't it?" She then laughed it off as did I, though my laugh was very fake considering I just wanted to fall to my knees and cry on her lap...begging for her not to leave us.

That night I went back home so that I could work on the project at school the next day

Saturday, I kept thinking that she'll be alright, she'll pull through this... I was planning on seeing her again right after my presentation on the following Tuesday. Unfortunately, time was not on either of our side... She passed on, I saw her the Friday night, she left us on the Sunday..

I'm still thinking from time to time... I'll just see her at Easter lunch with my family.

Losing someone is never easy...but she sure as hell did not deserve to go through what she did... She was a beautiful person, strong, determined and hardworking woman. She did not deserve to go this way. She deserved far better.... but that's the harshness of reality. Movies end with the good guys winning, Hollywood portrays that good people reap the best rewards in life.... but Hollywood has yet to grasp what life really is like. It's no fairy tale.

I keep making myself see the silver lining..that at least, she is not in anymore pain.