I have ADD... with Life.
- May 24, 2016
- 2 min read
Ever notice some of your friends who have had a better grip on life's commitments?
Whether it is a passion they pursue, or studying in one field and mastering the job for years? They have that one thing that defines them? Yet you look upon yourself and see no similarity? You have a passion, an idea that excites you, yet once you're close to the achievement, you begin to question if this is really you? You then begin to slack off, and derive to a new idea or passion. This is something I've been fighting to come to terms with, what helped me realize this issue was one simple thing.
Fear.
I don't mean fear as in "I'm afraid of what May come." more or less of "I'm afraid this will be it." I have always had administration for those who have that ONE thing, that skill, feature or passion that helps them divine their individuality. When I was 9, I had won an art contest and got to be the fire chief for the day. It was an exciting day no doubt. However, I remember the reporter for the local paper asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The ultimate question for any child. I remember replying, "An artist, a teacher and a firefighter." Yet, these things were not at all what I wanted to be, at that time yes, but my "grow up dreams" are still to this day changing. Thinking of different paths I wanted to take, from being a mortician to a burlesque entertainer.
I then began to wonder "what is wrong with me?" My attention span for life is ridiculously rapid; this is probably why my resume looks weird, working as an animal caregiver, a waitress, product line worker to a flight attendant with the UN.
My partner and I had a discussion shortly after starting to date and he had told me about "The Renaissance man" After looking into it myself, my heart felt lifted, my gut no longer hurt and for a moment, my mind found peace. I know I'm not alone with this, as that would be quite ignorant if I had thought that initially. To see physical evidence that this occurs more than estimated is very important to me.
I am a Renaissance woman, I am not only one thing, and I am many. I am one who wishes to explore and adapt to what the world can offer me, not the other way around. And for once, in my chaotic mind of endless thoughts... I'm more than ok with this. No, I'm content with this realization.
If you can agree with this, then know you are not alone, there are certainly many of us out there. We just need to start looking rather than hiding ourselves from that same fear.
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